Spiritual Awakening Through Breathwork | Dances With the Wind

At first glance, Dances With the Wind doesn’t sound like a very practical name for a coaching business.

And honestly? I agree.

My business is officially Wendy Miller Coaching, and my work is grounded, trauma-aware, and deeply supportive. Still, I chose to use Dances With the Wind for the URL anyway.

Here’s why.

When “Happiness” Felt Wrong

Around 2014, I was exhausted—emotionally fed up with being miserable. Ironically, I also hated the word happiness.

For one thing, it felt selfish to me. I imagined that being happy meant pursuing what I wanted without regard for anyone else. That never sat right in my body or my values.

And more honestly? Happiness felt completely out of reach. I couldn’t remember ever really feeling it.

I had been steeped in the Christian teaching of JOY: Jesus, Others, You. Put Jesus first (whatever that means), others second, and yourself dead last.

As someone who later realized I was deeply codependent, this was a perfect recipe for inner collapse. I found no joy in it at all. Mostly, I just felt empty and resentful.

The Ride No One Asked Me About

At some point, a thought occurred to me—half amusing, half furious:

I don’t remember anyone asking me if I wanted to be here.

You know… shoved into a meat suit, hurtling through space at 18.5 miles per second, orbiting the sun while the Earth spins at roughly 1,000 mph at the equator!

For the next three years, that became my mantra.

“I don’t remember anyone asking me if I wanted to be here.”

And I was mad about it.

I felt trapped in a life that felt pointless and imposed.

Ever been there?

Searching for Answers (and Finding More Questions)

In 2016, I enrolled in life coach training with the Quantum Success Coaching Academy. I was sure this would be where everything clicked. Not only would I find the answer—I’d be able to share it with others.

That didn’t happen.

I learned a lot about consciousness, energy, and how the universe supposedly works… but instead of clarity, I felt even more confused.

Why did these teachings work for other people—and not for me?

So I kept searching.

A Door I Didn’t Expect to Open

I became interested in plant medicine, particularly Ayahuasca, but it wasn’t accessible to me at the time. While searching for alternatives, I came across a YouTube video by Leo from actualized.org. He talked about a breathing technique that could induce altered states similar to plant medicine.

That was accessible.

One afternoon, alone in the house, I decided to try it.

It’s essentially controlled hyperventilation. I don’t remember exactly how long I did it—maybe 20 minutes—but gradually my entire body seized into a hard contraction.

Breathwork coaches often talk about “the claw,” where the hands cramp and tingle.

For me, it was my entire body.

It hurt.

But something in me—perhaps from meditation—knew to relax. It was like being calm inside a rigid shell. Painful, yet oddly peaceful.

In hindsight, I wish I’d recorded the session. It felt like I stopped breathing for an impossibly long time. Using Wim Hof’s method, I’ve since held my breath for five minutes, so maybe it wasn’t as far-fetched as it felt.

Stillness, Light, and a Question

Then something shifted.

My mind went completely still—but not blank. Open. Curious. Awe-filled.

I felt as though I was floating through light—soft, shimmering, unfocused, like bokeh in photography. I surrendered to it completely.

Then the tightness intensified. Everything went dark.

And I found myself face-to-face with an angel holding a flame cupped gently in both hands.

He asked me:

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

There was no hesitation. No fear.

My response came out joyful and emphatic:

“YES. Absolutely.”

The angel handed me the flame and said:

“You are a flickering flame that dances with the wind and never goes out.”

I placed the flame into my chest—and felt myself become fully alive. A living soul.

Names, Ancestry, and Meaning

Months earlier, I had been researching my family genealogy. My father always said we had Native American ancestry. I found that we are descendants of Chief Corntassell of Tennessee—my 9th great-grandfather.

What the angel said didn’t just feel poetic. It felt like a name.

Later, I learned that Wendy means wandering spirit. And the Hebrew word for wind—ruach—also means spirit.

Looking up the spiritual meaning of my name now reveals themes of innocence, guidance, light, nurturing, and wandering—ideas echoed in Wendy Darling from Peter Pan (though that’s a rabbit trail unrelated to the topic).

So… Why “Dances With the Wind”?

That experience changed how I understood myself—and life.

As I began contemplating a name for my YouTube channel, I found inspiration in creators like Barbara from Solo in the Woods, who leads with authenticity rather than polish.

Dances With the Wind felt right.

Not because it’s catchy.But because it reminds me—and hopefully others—that we are not here to force, control, or harden ourselves against life.

We are here to move with it. To stay lit. To remember that even when everything feels uncertain…

The flame doesn’t go out.